Summer 2014?

June 24th, 2014

Oh, I see you’re looking at my blog at Three Chord Me. That’s cool, but you should probably know that I don’t blog here anymore. Instead I’ve got some stuff set up at JohnEverettMorton.com and mostly I’m blogging about art and trying to be an artist.

The primary reason I’ve left this page up is to show one example of what is possible with a custom WordPress theme. I built a theme largely from scratch and used CSS to put in all my own colors, backgrounds, and header images. I’m kind of hoping to take some small freelance projects on the side, and while I would much prefer to draw guitar playing robots for people, I’ll settle for some image editing or WordPress installations.

For more information e-mail me at jeverettmorton@gmail.com or call 815 793-7804.

Two Dollar Couplets

February 14th, 2014

Did you screw up today
and buy a gas station gift?
Well I’ve got an idea
that don’t stink of thrift.

How about a rhyming poem
each couplet is two bucks
And with your sweetheart
you’ll have the best luck

Maybe you’re laughing
but this ain’t a joke
I need some extra cash
to be a little less broke

If you scoff at the price
and feel it’s too rich
Well, screw you too
I’m a capitalist, bitch!

By now you realize
I drop rhymes like the bomb
For more info e-mail
jeverettmorton@gmail.com

The Backstory

There is a fellow, let’s call him “T,” who has been hung up on a particular girl for a while and I’ve been encouraging him to push the envelope, because carpe diem and all that jazz. All indications show that she maybe likes him too, but they’re both too chicken to say anything. Being that today is Valentine’s Day and all, I wrote  a three couplet poem for “T” on spec and said if he used it and she liked it, he owed me six bucks ($2 per couplet). If he used it and it blew up in his face, I’d pay him six dollars. I have my doubts that “T” is going to go through with it, but I welcome your words of encouragement for him on my public Facebook page or in the comments below.

In the meantime, I wrote another four couplet poem that a co-worker ordered and thought maybe I’d offer these services for a limited time. You never know, right?

So it’s first come, first serve. $2/couplet, three couplet minimum, eight couplet maximum. If you want one you should e-mail me at jeverettmorton@gmail.com and make sure I’m available first. If I am available to write your poem you should send me information about you and the recipient, the general idea of your message, and how many couplets you want (3-8) and you can send me payment via PayPal. Here’s an example that I wrote earlier. The information given to me was the girl’s name, where she worked, where the two of them had been out before, their plans for the evening, and the stipulation that it should be more comical than romantic and mushy. This is what I churned out:

Good evening [lady friend]/I know it’s real late
After a long day at McD’s/I hope you appreciate..

This poem I bought / at work from this guy
Who writes dope $#!t / real quick on the fly

Hey, remember that time / we saw four one-act plays
Yeah, that was okay / I mean, I can’t complain

You know tonight I could have been / with any number of chicks
But I’m real glad I’m here / with you, watching Netflix

So there you have it. Place your orders now while there is still time. I don’t know of anyone else offering last minute Valentine’s Day poems at this price, so hurry now!

Long Time Coming

June 26th, 2013

I’ve all but deleted this site. It feels kind of liberating. For the two people who have ever read this and are freaking out about 152 past blog posts, fret not. If there was anything good in there I can bring it all back. It’s just not published at the moment.

Some things in case you haven’t heard…

Earlier this year I became a homeowner. It fills a lot of my time. Progress is being made, but I’m a little disgusted with the color I just painted the kitchen.

I’ve got some other big plans. Art prints. Writing. Furniture designs. Custom guitars. It would be nice to have a little more time and money at my disposal. I might take a week off in September to churn some ideas out.

A couple weeks ago I joined a gym and started sessions with a trainer. It takes a little more time than I’d like, but hopefully it will pay off.

No motorcycle for me this year. It looks like I owe the IRS a penalty on the retirement money I withdrew for my house payment. Drag. Might get some drums though. Drums are cool.

Anyway, it’s been a most weird 2013 so far and we’re only about half done. More details in a newsletter soon…maybe.

-J

Love Is A Social Construct, Baby

February 14th, 2013

Love Is A Social Construct, Baby (3:49)

This was recorded mid-December with my friend Jared at his practice space. He’s on the cajon and backing vocals and I’m guitar and vocals. Recorded simply with the built-in mic on my laptop. Happy Valentine’s Day.